“WH” Question Training…

It is common among children with hyperlexia that they particularly struggle to answer the “wh” questions; what, where, why, when and who.

With Neiva, in every day speech we use statements rather than questions. This is fine for the meantime as it enables her to communicate her needs to us but obviously she does need to be taught to understand this particular area for her long term development.

In the same way other children need to learn to read and write, Neiva has to be taught to understand and respond to “wh” questions.

I downloaded 100 “WH” question flip cards by TeachersPayTeachers and printed them onto card. I then made a green “correct” coin for Neiva to place over the right answer and of course being a superstar reader, she read the questions beautifully.

The only downside I can see to this is that I will have to find new questions sooner rather than later, as she will quickly memorise the answers.

Nevertheless, it made for an interesting afternoon activity and if we have a little practice everyday I feel we will see major improvements in her comprehension of what “wh” questions are and how to incorporate them into daily life.

Neiva does have iPad apps that do the same thing,  however I wanted to take some time away from the iPad as it can be very isolating for her. This way it felt more like teamwork between the two of us, which only adds to improving her social skills.


Homemade Bird Feeders

Despite living in a noisy little town, our house resides on a hill that backs on to a steep bank filled with trees, a haven for wildlife. It was the perfect setting to take part in the RSPB’s big garden bird watch over the weekend.

I ordered our free pack some weeks back which, coupled with a few ideas from Pinterest, gave us all the ammunition we needed to get started.

Bird Feeder #1
For this we needed;

  • twine
  • cardboard toilet roll inner tube
  • peanut butter
  • wild bird seed

Using a butter knife we coated the tube with peanut butter until completely covered. Under close supervision from Enid, Neiva then rolled the tube in the wild bird seed. We then  threaded through the twine and hung outside.

To make the second bird feeder below, we needed to first make the suet cakes which ideally need to be done the night before so they can set completely in the fridge. It really was so simple to make and the finished effect looked lovely.

Suet (Lard) Cakes
For this we needed;

  • a packet of lard
  • an old baking tray
  • wild bird seed
  • twine
  • cookie cutters (we used hearts and stars)

Melt a full packet of lard gently. Add enough bird seed to coat thoroughly. Thread through the twine and ensure the two ends meet at the top. Transfer to the cookie cutters packing them down nice and tight. Leave in the fridge overnight to set. In hindsight I would have not used stars as they were quite difficult to remove once set. I would have also laid them on grease proof paper as they did stick to the tray.

Bird Food Garland
This was a little bit more complex but Neiva did love making this. For this we needed:

  • a bamboo stick (or a dry twig)
  • twine
  • two apples
  • suet (lard) cakes
  • small heart cookie cutter

Slice the apples into thin slices and use the small heart cutter to cut a hole in the middle. Thread the twine through the hole (we did rows of three) Remove the suet cakes from the cutters and tie to the bamboo along with the apple slices.

We did enjoy counting the different types of birds on the sheet and look forward to reporting our findings to the RSPB. Poor Enid not so much. Not only did she have the local squirrel to contend with, she had to deal with extra visitors to her garden this weekend.

If you want more information on why the RSPB carry out an annual survey on local birdlife, please click here.


Hyperlexia, Pooh Bear & Other Stories

Hyperlexia –  A precocious, self-taught ability to read words which appears before age five, and/or an intense fascination with letters, numbers, shapes…accompanied with significant difficulty in understanding and developing oral language.

A self taught reader before the age of five has got to be a great thing, right? It is great and we are immensely proud of her, however this advanced reading ability is in direct contrast with her difficulties understanding spoken language.

Unlike other children, hyperlexic children don’t learn language in the usual way. The way a typical child would learn language is a progression of sounds to words and then to sentences. Instead, hyperlexic children, who have amazing visual and auditory memories, memorise phrases, sentences and even entire conversations. It’s this memory that then helps them to learn language.

The repetition of phrases and sentences without understanding the meaning is known as “Echolalia” and is something Neiva has been doing most of the time when communicating her thoughts and feelings with us. We are so glad she has used echolalia to communicate with us, especially in the early days. It helped us work out what she was trying to say.

The majority of the time, when Neiva uses echolalia, fortunately, it is in context. However, we are using the technique of giving her key phrases to memorise to try and weed out the odd few comfort phrases she would repeat that have no context. For example, when she was frustrated or angry, she would say “snap! I win again!” (A Charlie & Lola phrase) and stamp her foot. When she does this, we know to tell her:

  • What the emotion she is feeling (“Neiva is feeling frustrated” or “Neiva is feeling angry/cross”)
  • What she should say instead (“I am feeling cross” or “I am feeling frustrated”)
  • What she needs to do to feel better (take a deep breath and blow the angry away/give mummy a hug)

This ritual is crucial for her to remember. The more she does it, the easier it will be for her to communicate that emotion to us and more importantly, know how to deal with that particular emotion independently.

Her love of letters and numbers has followed her to the choice of films she watches. Winnie the Pooh is a particular family favourite. We watch it often on our family movie nights. It is so gentle and simple with catchy songs.

What I love about the 2011 film, is that words in the book play a role in the story. Neiva loves this. I do feel the storybook setting that features throughout play a major role in loving this film.

Just tonight, after a bedtime story, we snuggled down to watch Pooh at Neiva’s request, laughing loudly at the part where he is so hungry, everything he sees turns to honey, including the words of the book the narrator is reading “honey honey honey honey honey”.

As I am typing this, Neiva is almost asleep. The credits for the film are still rolling. (We have to watch the credits roll up until the end, another hyperlexia trait) She stirs “Pooh bear again please mummy” she sighs quietly and slowly starts to sleep gently.

“Night night my little bear”

Can Our Children Be Friends?

Children are so perceptive in ways we adults really are not. They are also very tolerant of differences, more than we ever give them credit for. They ask the most honest of questions purely out of curiosity and complete openness.

That said, I’ve seen situations where children have tried to make friends with Neiva and been really upset when they get no response, and then asked why, usually very loudly, in front of the poor parent, who then feels awkward and gets in an unnecessary fluster. In all honesty, if the roles were reversed, I would feel exactly the same in their shoes. However, it really doesn’t take a complicated explanation. Simple and honest always works best.

A Quick Get Out Clause
Sometimes, during play dates or at the park, there just isn’t time to properly sit and explain to your child why Neiva is acting differently, “shes not listening to me” “she wont play with me” “she wont stop singing” these are common complaints I hear regularly in a play situation. Kids themselves are in play mode and just want a simple answer to a question. So for those occasions, any of these quick responses will suffice:

  • “say excuse me and make sure she can hear you”
  • “maybe she wants to play by herself”
  • “why dont you join in and sing”

And for the ultimate get out clause and the response I love the most…. “why dont you ask her mummy” I love this one because it completely takes the pressure off the parent.

Making it lighthearted and straightforward is a great sense of relief for any parent with a child with any kind of reduced social interaction. To be honest, I could quite easily become a hermit and never venture out, it would be so much easier. No anticipation or dread, no panic. That would certainly make life easier for me but it would not be helping Neiva in the long term. Neiva loves the park, she loves being outside, I would be depriving her of her own little piece of happiness just so I could avoid potential confrontation and I’m not prepared to do that. Ill do it because I love her completely and her needs must come first.

What if your child asks about autism and you have the time to explain in more detail?

Explaining Autism to a Child (the long-winded version)
Below is a list of simple ways to explain autism to your child.

  • It is not a disease and is not contagious. You cannot catch autism. (Some children do have this worry)
  • They may not talk very much but that doesnt mean they dont understand what you are saying
  • They may have to play with the same toys over and over again. This is ok, it makes them feel calm and safe.
  • Some do not see, hear, or feel things the same way we do, loud busy noises, sights and sounds may be too much for them.

The “Statement” Technique
With Neiva, she doesnt understand “wh” questions. What, where, who and why. If you want Neiva to hear you, give her clear simple commands. Always start by saying ‘Neiva, look at me” (and when she looks) rather than ask her a question say what you want her to do ‘lets play in my bedroom/here is a drink,/here is a biscuit/lets get our shoes on and play outside” (her cousins are naturally particularly good at this)

Using statements rather than questions hasn’t come easy to us so don’t expect your child to get it first time. Its the effort that counts.

I have the ability to see the world differently while loving everyone in it the same, what’s your superpower? – Neiva

Playdate Interaction Winners!
rather than try and converse, if she is playing with bricks for example, sit alongside her and copy what shes doing and talk generally about what you are doing “today I am building a very tall tower, it has 12 bricks and the colours are….”

  • make sure she can hear you
  • short simple statements (not questions)
  • join in with her singing (I hope you know all your nursery rhymes)
  • play ball catch (shes really good)

Just a little side note for parents/adults
There is absolutely nothing wrong with Neiva’s comprehension. She understands and takes in everything she hears whether its directly spoken to her or not. The temptation is to speak to her as though she doesn’t understand English, slow and loud (and even in one instance, with a slight accent) Please don’t do this. Talk to her in a normal tone of voice. As long as she can hear you and is not distracted by loud noises or in a busy room with lots of different voices and sounds and smells, she will try and respond. I think as humans we associate response with listening, so if we don’t get a response we conclude that person isn’t interested in what we have to say. Unfortunately, responding to conversation isnt something that comes naturally to an child on the spectrum. In the same way we have had to learn to read count and write, Neiva is having to be taught how to read social cues. She will get there, like learning anything new, it will just take time.

Finally, we really do appreciate the effort our family and friends are doing already to communicate with Neiva. We know that you love her very much and we are very grateful for that. Thank you.

L x

Hyperlexia & Bedtime

Whilst routines are beneficial for any child, children with any type of sensory issue thrive on it. The world is an unpredictable place, routine and order relieve a lot of anxiety and stress, giving back some control for what is happening in the chaotic world around them.

Neiva is a child that thrives on routine.

Bedtime is a really important area that we try and stick to the same routine as much as possible. Sometimes, things crop up and we cant do anything about it but for the most part we try and keep to the same system. Here are some of the things that have worked for us:

Reward Chart
Neiva loves Charlie & Lola, in fact so much of her communication is related to an episode she has watched and memorised and fortunately for the most part, she uses it in context. For example if she is hot, she will tell us she is “completely absolutely boiling”.

In one of the monthly Charlie & Lola magazines we buy for her, there was a whole section dedicated to “Bedtime”. Included in that was a page entitled “Bedtime Reward Chart” I cut it out and framed it. We ordered a set of Charlie & Lola reusable reward stickers from eBay and we were ready to go.

The downside to taking something out of a magazine is that you cant change the order or content to adapt it to your personal routine (however, there are plenty of free printables on the internet that do this). Fortunately for us, the order and content was perfect for us. And of course, being the hyperlexic superstar that she is, she reads the instructions beautifully.

So, Neivas bedtime routine is as follows:

She has to:

  • “make my room ever so completely tidy”
  • “have a very bubbly bath” (although showers are necessary if we are pushed for time, generally the bath wins)
  • “put my pajamas on completely all by myself”
  • “brush my teeth extremely carefully”
  • “read a lovely bedtime story”

I like this routine. It works for us. Its simple and covers all bases. Some days we do have to skip the bath completely but since the rest of the routine is covered we generally get through this without much fuss.

There are days where we are back too late to start the set routine. As mentioned above when skipping bath time, as long as the majority of the list is covered we are usually ok. As long as we end with a bedtime story, bedtime is straightforward.

Bedtime Story
Reading a story to Neiva isnt a chore, its our favourite part of the day. And maybe this isnt the “thing” to do to encourage independence, but as they are only little once, we do often read her to sleep. Naturally, being a child of routine, she has her favourites. “We’re Going on a Bear Hunt” and “The Little House” are regularly read. Currently we are reading “The Velveteen Rabbit“. As far as bedtime stories go, this is such a winner on so many levels. For Neiva, who loves the outdoors and nature, she adores this book. Its so gentle and wistful and dreamily written, the perfect bedtime story. Its long enough for her to go to sleep to, but short enough to get the ending (and it is such a good ending)

Finally, there are the nights where despite all the planning and routine following, she is just out of sorts and there is nothing we can do about it. So, for those nights its a few drops of Bach Night Remedy and an extra dose of patience.

My reward? A lovely glass of red wine waiting for me downstairs.

L x